A Terrible Thing To Waste

A Terrible Thing To Waste

by Mike Pollock

So, there I was.

That’s how stories like mine start; in a single moment. Sure, you could argue that we’re much closer to the end than the actual beginning, but who’s interested in hearing about a mewling babe and his too-drunk mother drifting from hovel to hovel?

In truth, each moment is indeed the last step in a universal game of hopscotch. If I could see beyond this finite plane, into the vast sand-line shores of eternal time, I could point out each moment as a footstep winding as far back as the straining release of my creation.

I’d also like to point out that the occasional tsunami whose sole purpose is to wipe our memories from existence.

“Kole!” A familiar voice cried from the wispy-thin clouds of my memory. With it I felt my soul washed over with the feeling of home. The warmth swept me away from the crash and calamity that roared around me.

Her face, loving eyes crying tears of sorrow draw me in. I knew her but could not place her name.

 “Kevin!” The call came again, and I find myself rummaging through a thick oaken chest. I missed the warm glow from a friendly fire place, and I missed the constant laughter of my sisters. We’d rummaged through Pa’s chest only once before.

Way back on that beach is a footstep filled with the pain from a raw hide belt, and the next one filled with the teary eyed wonder as I turned a poorly forged knife in my hands, curled sideways, alone in my room, to avoid the sore redness of my backside.

It was a moment like that which changed the path I’d be destined to walk on. That would lead me here to this blood soaked field. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I was there. I walked the space in between knowing and feeling, and the cold that swept over me was nothing more than a footnote on today’s page.

“Kevin!”

“What?!” I finally replied, letting the memory fade and turning to face a new darkness. Forms filled the void before me, their figures moving in a frantic dance. Limbs lift over silhouetted heads, crashing down and leaving carnage in its path.

There was no sign of the voice calling out.

Architect of Death's Collapse

Architect of Death's Collapse
by Mike Pollock

yea, you said it huh?
Right before you tore me from my seat
and set me on this winding path
...I've noticed how it narrows
have you lead me to redemption?
Or will these be my last steps?
Only time will tell
for you are tight lipped
aside from orders barked from years before.
"Move."
"Don't look back!"
I've come to loathe the sound of your voice
One once so tender it made skies smile too.
Now my world grows dark with every forboading word.
Too cold and bare to support life
your breath is a disease that consumes all life.
Let me go, these last few miles alone please.
I need only my own failing heart
to remind me of my misery.

The Ether

The Ether
by Mike Pollock

I'm so sick of who you are
preaching perfection
like you're the creator.

Your truth is too hard to bear
so closing your eyes
you'll fight till the morning

Taken to where we were
alone yet together
we never had closure

So close to finding the time
You'll leave when you want to
but never show up on time

Cast in this stone and fear
My heart is made well
with the ending of yours

The ending is oh so near
But you fight to be right
and I'll fade away slowly

Silence, My Friend

Silence, My Friend
by Mike Pollock

Everything wasted
a weight from which I cannot move
A reminder of things done wrong,
woefully wrong...

A list of excuses, written in blood
pins my eyelids shut.
My heart beats shallow
erratic
angry at this prison I'm confined to.

Darkness seeps in at every crease and tear
Coldness, like icy fingers kneading at my jaw
Desolate and destraught.
Are they only words?
Or are they my motto.

I'm deserving of only one thing
Nothing.
I am neither willing, nor willful
I have nothing left but these remnants of my promise.

Promises to myself, to you
to them and to her.

My only freedom comes between beats of this battered heart.
In the silence that is the slowing of my blood.
Scattered to the winds are my ambitions
Tattered is the flag I used to bear...

The crimsons and the burnt colors of my soul
rage out of control as if the world itself were fuel.
I am angry.
I am angry.
I am... angry...

Hot tears crest my swollen cheeks,
vainly evaporating under the heat of my hatred.
How can one man, so full of life,
be perverted into a heaping pile of flesh and despair?

Mirror Mirror on my wall
Who has wasted more than all?
The words echo in my head
falling unheard to the ground...
my answer is in the silence.

Why Do We Do This To Ourselves

I let myself fall, into this white water flow. I left myself under, hoping currents begin to slow. The pebbles and rocks did eat, so quick I nearly bled. The bumps and troughs they spun me, from my feet onto my head. As I tumbled blind through frost, of wave after biting wave, I felt as if this were my master, and I, it's willing slave. I sputtered and I kicked, my legs began to burn. I fumbled with my hands, heavy arms began to churn. Beneath this white capped devil, the currents pulled me down. Beneath the alabaster glow, the darkness helps me drown.

A Child's Tears

A Child's Tears
by Mike Pollock

she smiles
but she doesn't see she's dying
she tries
but she doesn't know he's lying

It's everything that she can do to stay
awake
but it's starting to take it's toll...

Quarter after 3
he finally makes it home
Silence broken
there's no sleep in her tone

It's everything that he can do to say
Sorry
but it's starting to take it's toll...

Lay in bed
They don't know the world is ending
Fast asleep
But they can see right through pretending

It's everything they can do to keep
from crying
but it's starting to take it's toll...

Happiness

Happiness
by Mike Pollock


If you were to believe it
it would have a different name
you wouldn't call it sunshine
you'd label it your rain
The dreams your chasing after
Were never yours to start
You tell us your a wise man
with no wisdom to impart
I see it all so clearly
The veil you hide behind
This rouse you think is clever
is only in your mind.

Heart Scenes: Take One

Heart Scenes: Take One
by Mike Pollock

Lately I've been thinking
Friendships have been dying
What is all this madness
What is gained from crying

systems have been shutdown
Hearts have been on lockdown
Eyes have been half open
Someone should have spoken

Silver linings anchor
Whats inside my anger
Hate is breeding hatred
No ones heart is sacred

Stay above the clouds now
Else you'll never know how
People can be good ones
And life can be so much fun

Humans are a sickness
Global state's unfittness
Creatures full of disease
Colder feelings will freeze

Hold me ever tighter
Warmth from just one lighter
My heart is slow reviving
Our love is still surviving

In your arms I can live
To you I freely give
In your arms I can sleep
Sound and safe with no needs

Sing me lullibies love
My angel sent from above
You prove to me the worlds good
Before you, I never understood

Golden Sunrise, Blackness Waits

Golden Sunrise, Blackness Waits
by Mike Pollock

Heart beat bring me around
Empty my head with creation of sound
Lightning bolts, they sizzle the air
Play to win but always unfair
Ain't got an angel with wings like these
Razor blades sharpened like rows of teeth
Empty my head but never the same
Fill me with lead that will drive me insane
Words of hate that create my pain
Empty like rocks soaked in acid rain
Terrible winds bring us to our knees
On even level everyone sees
Capture the sound that runs all along
Distant hearts beating in synchronized song
A melody pure yet reality free
never is here, proverbial tease
Antichrists come and, antichrists go
But ever life is a never ending drone
Propellers spin down a plane with no wings
Hyphonate air, when he begins to sing
Carefully now to air fights gone prophet
These theys and those, won't you come off it
For ever and a day, we live by ourselves
And never have the decency to improve on self
A cockeyed glance and a handshake so weak
In my mind, my own image you'll tweak
Run away with these visions of heaven
Enter my mind, filled with sins 1 through 7
Are we much different that swords clashing down
Within the armor we will fight not to drown
Your head to mine, your face and your fists
A battle hotter than any single kiss
I fight to maintain, the hope that I have
That this life ends and my spirit will last

A Constant Barrage

A Constant Barrage
by Mike Pollock

A darkness falls
My heart beat stills
A death so sweet
Your kiss can kill
Breaking down
Like ice is falling
My heart is bleeding
but still I'm calling
Inside these walls
I've painted you
Around the edges
Lies blur the truth
If I had a choice
I'd let me go
Fall to the ground
My seed to sew
Inside the course
Of a thousand days
I'll hold the reins
And attempt to stay
My spirit horse
Is begging free
She wants to know
What it is to be
Crashing down
Like bolts above
Into my head
You reign your love
It's so easy
To say goodbye
But hello means
You're by my side

Let Evening Come

Let Evening Come
by Mike Pollock

the sands of time are slipping backwards
my mind is sinking into your quicksand eyes
These lights shine down and lift my spirits up
You're beautiful silhouetted against darkening skies

Let evening fall and let morning come
The skies may darken but my love will be the sun
I pledge allegance to a differnt flag
As morning breaks I know you are the one
Let evening fall and the morning become me
as beautiful as you've become to be

Time holds me hostage, I'm just a man
Holding a torch against the night
I breakdown thinking you won't call me today
But I know it's foolish thing to fight

Let evening fall and let morning come
The skies may darken but my love will be the sun
I pledge allegance to a differnt flag
As morning breaks I know you are the one
Let evening fall and the morning become me
as beautiful as you've become to be

In my mind it's more than just petty thievery
To steal away my heart and tax my every breath
It's only in love that I let you keep me close
My heart is yours in life and yours still in death

Let evening fall and let morning come
The skies may darken but my love will be the sun
I pledge allegance to a differnt flag
As morning breaks I know you are the one

Eternal Bends The Knee

Eternal Bends The Knee
by Mike Pollock

Everyone is gone
Now the room is empty
Save for you and me
I hear you breathing
Contemplate the meaning
Overwhelming me

Nothing I can say
Night just fades to day
Open up the window shades
I can't stay long
In the morning I'll be gone
Back where I belong

Star filled skys break
And earth and sea shake
Making all of this
Eternal bends her knees
Love is fleeting
My heart is bleeding
Fighting to keep my head above
Fighting for your love

I'll remember
I'll remember you
I'll remember.. everything

Star filled skys break
And earth and sea shake
Making all of this
Eternal bends her knees
Love is fleeting
My heart is bleeding
Fighting to keep my head above
Fighting for your love

Far From Me

Far From Me
by Mike Pollock

She begs
she pleads.
She cries
she screams.
She wants to know
but she don't believe.
She cuts
she bleeds.
She wants
she needs.
Her hands on the bars
but I cannot be freed.

Night
Is falling
and all I want is
Clarity
Some sympathy
Day
Is coming
and all
I know is
Sanctity
Is so far from me.

He lived
he dies.
He seeks
to rise.
He's held behind
by these chains that bind.
He speaks
he lies.
He loves
to despise.
It's no surprise
that he's left behind.


Night
Is falling
and all I want is
Clarity
Some sympathy
Day
Is coming
and all
I know is
Sanctity
Is so far from me.

Winter Warfield

Winter Warfield
by Mike Pollock

Silver streaks
Steel snow speaks
Riddled walls and high pitched shrieks
Battlescars
In mud like tar
A thousand miles to reach this far
Cross hairs close
Above your nose
A flash of light and terror grows
Bee buzz lead
A flash of red
The lights go out inside your head.

Greet The Dawn

Greet The Dawn
by Mike Pollock

A cold november morning
my shoes are in the hall
a frost sat on the window
and snow was piled tall

heat and steam entombed me
deep within my bed
covers thick and comfy
pulled over my head

Peeking free from sanction
Steam ran from my mouth
Out the window silence
Birds had all gone south

The Wooden floors were fridged
Hopping to and fro
Throwing on a pair of socks
To ward against the cold

My route goes to the living room
Dark and cold alike
Dead logs are on the fire place
No kindling to ignite

Skip into the kitchen
And Stiffle back a yawn
A cup of coffee warm and sweet
Alone to greet the dawn

Haunted

Haunted
by Mike Pollock

These are the wind swept streets of my memory
Everything here but nothing to see
These tear streaked cheecks are dirt to run
My face is down, away from the sun
I don't deserve to see the light
I lost my love and my will to fight
Look at pictures relics of my past
rub the dust off the broken glass
her face is light and her skin is silk
my mind remembers and my spirit melts
I throw the memory down again
I lose myself in what she said
Notation here, in the journal of my mind
All the sorrow rushes back only to find

I left my memories away
But they keep on coming back today
I can't seem to get away from myself...
My past is haunting me

I heard you call on the answering machine
I read your e-mails and it never even seems
Like I'm gone from days gone past
Like my heart was ever going to last
Inside my mind of moonlit entities
Lies the crack of a long lost love to be
Streaks of crimson across my eyes
Leave myself as the punk to despise
I wish upon a star but feel it fall away
Nothing is left to me, I give away the rest of these days

The Best Colors Have The Best Names

The Best Colors Have The Best Names
by Mike Pollock

This city
is killing us
in a way the drugs
can only dream of
The lights
a utopia?
Red, yellow...... green
with too many cracks
to avoid falling between
Do you even know
or remember my name?
or are we simply
destined to die unchanged
Yet, this city kills
still sleeping
a silent stalker of men
old husbands and wives
This drumbeat
street alchemist
poised with dirty tools
and homegrown particulars
Formidable, albeit naive
and lacking in age
this distance between
black and white,
and the closeness of gray
So close, yet
so forever far away
a mother and father
the jailbreak and star
But forever a child
whose voices will cry
together tomorrow
separate the day
Words... they're just colors
and caped men are blind
honed, cut with muscle
a stoop left behind.

What You've Done For Me

What You've Done For Me
by Mike Pollock

I've dressed my self up in snowflakes
left out in the cold to dry
My hands are icy
my fingers are numb but I
can feel the world through my eyes

And what i see
is never enough
to pacify the need
the need I have
to breath
and it's all i can do
to keep myself from
bleeding to death
freeze it in my veins
I have forgetten
how forgiving the cold can be

I've dressed myself in leaves
let the trees forget I'm here
my hands are branches
my fingers budding
but I can't move I'm rooted where I stand

This life...
I've tried to give up
but you won't let me
This life...
is beautiful once
you open up your eyes...

and I
have failed so many times before
So many miserable answers to
so many easy questions
but
my eyes
are light enough inside
you saw straight through the ice and snow

And what i see
is never enough
to pacify the need
the need I have
to breath
and it's all i can do
to keep myself from
bleeding to death
freeze it in my veins
I have forgetten
how forgiving the cold can be

Car Crash Embossed In Blue

Car Crash Embossed In Blue
by Mike Pollock

I've got two eyes...
and through angry spider webbed glass
I can see a homeless soul
trapped behind self-loathing hate
Terrified veins run
through half-beating hearts
I can hear pulsing prayers
beat...beat... don't stop
But this creature of darkness
so close he could be kin
Is scarred and not finished
he's broken down
and fighting just to breath
Calloused is his soul
as the palms of his hands
and as bleeding and red
as the knuckles of his fists
Oh, such a train wreck in flesh
Could you avert your eyes if
you knew the end was near?
I'm hanging on...
but I'm waiting for the impact
Waiting to feel the cold rain
of disappointment
the freezing drive of
hate and resentment...
If I could pray for one thing...
Just one, simple little thing
It'd be that this mirror tells lies
Just once... one little lie...

Confined

Confined
by Mike Pollock

It's oh so visceral
this cathedral cieling
painted with my blood
tall, imposing
these wooden doors to my soul
closed only to be opened
by a few
but never long enough to free
the pressure I feel

I measure success
in the droves of dead in my wake
In the screams of mothers
whose child is now a monster
like me
whose daughters carry them
with sharp toothed grins

Gone says the wind...
of days of peace and tranquility
it whispers in the trees
of the wars and famines to come
of the plagues to be released

Oh so angry,
cradled neatly in white linens
on an alter all my own
in the shadow draped confines of my mind
let me out
to fullfill this breakwater fantasy
a prophesy of destruction
the last corners of earth
will feel the wrath of the scorned
The floods of my tears
The heat of my anger
The cold of my soul...
The nothingness that is inside

Dear Gravity

Dear Gravity
by Mike Pollock

Dear gravity
Where has the sun gone today?
Have you let her loose
Or has she run away?

Dear gravity
What have you done?
I feel like I’m floating in space
I’m lost with the sun.

Dear gravity
Why the sudden change of heart?
Have you lost the will to live,
to let this world fall apart?

Pack Rat

Pack Rat
by Mike Pollock


The tides swallowed the sound
like the sand running away to leave
sinking heels slipping down
past the warm
into the cool depths of water soaked mud.

My brain tries
in vain, though it may be
to fix this gaping hole
in the face of my lifes logic.

Like a game with no chips, or cards, or pieces
Falling apart in the attic,
next to postcards and stamps
long forgotten to our world
but a staple to the dust ridden memories of old.

Close this time to the end
I can almost hear the buzz
the swaying sound of leaves
the chirping of the birds.

It fights its way through the veil of silence
motion kills the mood
Fleeing once again down the folding stairs
to hide shaking on the bathroom stairs.

She's had enough.
These memories are eating her to death,
filing down her nerve endings
until the very thought of light
makes her cringe.

Tears mark trails, train tracks of misery
run down dusty cheeks.
folded arms, crushed beneath the weight
of never ending responsibility,
can't halt the rising floor.

Death By Firing Squad

Death By Firing Squad
by Mike Pollock

Fire away!
It can’t be to hard
Tied to this fuckin’ wall
I don’t even need the blind fold
Just fire away,

Truths are what we make them to be
Angry hornets in this nest made for me
Try twice until you give up the third time
Close your eyes and use your mind to see

Twisting, free me, falling away
Twelve stories up, no time to pray
They told me it’s to dangerous to climb
But I never listened anyway.

Yea so Fire, Fire, Fire!
A school yard of children
Or a funeral pyre
So Fire, Fire, Fire
What says you father
I’m a sinner, a liar

The Longest Lines Have The Best Destinations

The Longest Lines Have the Best Destinations

Close the last page
My heart has beat it’s last
Like the closing line
In a mystery
That leaves dust
And dried out throats

Scroll these credits
But don’t turn on the lights
I want it dark
For my curtain call
I want the doors
To stay unlocked

Bury me
In a glass top casket
Better yet
Cast me in concrete
And leave me out
To stand guard over this place

It’s twelve O’clock
Later than I thought it’d be
Send every one home now
The shows over
Don’t ask me for your money back

I’ve spent it already
On the ones I leave behind
For what’s a memory
If you don’t have hands
To hold
And lips to kiss

My legacy
My closed fist,
Stinking legacy…
Will you even remember
Who’s inside this box

A Walk Through Hell

A Walk Through Hell

by Mike Pollock

Submitted for April 2018 Micro Fiction contest at SFFWorld.com

“Keep moving!” An Orcish overseer cried, tearing Mara’s flesh with the crack of his whip.

Chains rattled as they walked single file. Around them swirled the cries of women stolen away from loved ones.

Dry eyed and devoid of emotion, Mara watched as a young girl was shoved to a place along the line before her. She stumbled, her wild eyes searched for any signs of hope.

 “Get moving!” The same overseer growled, splitting the air with a wicked crack of his whip. The girl cried out but Mara found herself smiling. Finally, she thought; someone else for a change.