Why Do We Do This To Ourselves

I let myself fall, into this white water flow. I left myself under, hoping currents begin to slow. The pebbles and rocks did eat, so quick I nearly bled. The bumps and troughs they spun me, from my feet onto my head. As I tumbled blind through frost, of wave after biting wave, I felt as if this were my master, and I, it's willing slave. I sputtered and I kicked, my legs began to burn. I fumbled with my hands, heavy arms began to churn. Beneath this white capped devil, the currents pulled me down. Beneath the alabaster glow, the darkness helps me drown.